Adult Sibling Rivalry and Elder Care

According to the World Health Organization* from 2000 until 2050, the world's population aged 60 and over will more than triple from 600 million to 2 billion. Most of this increase is occurring in developing countries - where the number of older people will rise from 400 million in 2000 to 1.7 billion by 2050. However, the impact of the demographic change on both developed and developing countries is huge with challenges on both the social and economic front. This phenomenon has never happened before in the history of humanity and within 10 years will be felt worldwide with more people over 65 years than pre-schoolers.

This month in work life essentials we focus on the issue of adult sibling rivalry and the costly impact when one sibling is left to care for their aging parents. This not only creates an enormous burden socially, financially and emotionally for the carer but can lead to resentment and family discord at a time when support is desperately needed. It is not surprising to learn that carers who solicit help from relatives tend to have lower stress levels than those who don't.

For carers with elder care responsibilities, here are a few tips on how to get help from your family.

Get everyone together to discuss the situation. It's often helpful to get family members together, in person or on the phone, to try to come up with a plan as a group. Together you may come up with ideas that wouldn't have occurred to you separately.

Be specific. Talk about specific tasks and how people might help. If you need a lot of help, you might make up a list of all the things that need to be done and ask people to sign up for tasks they're able to take on -- if not regularly, at least occasionally.

Show your appreciation. Send a note or call to say, "Thanks for taking Mum to lunch. It was great to have a break." When family members feel appreciated, they'll want to help out again.

Remember that teenagers in the family can help, too. They can't assume full-time responsibilities, but they might be able to help with errands and chores.

Make your needs clear when family members refuse to cooperate. Write a letter about your concerns and send it to everyone involved. Or call a family meeting. This will make everyone aware of your feelings and give people a chance to respond.

It is also important to communicate with your employer and gain support should an unexpected event occur.

The aging population affects all of us. It is important to contribute where we can.

* The World Health Organization

http://www.who.int/features/qa/42/en/index.html